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[Thursday
12/3/09@2:52am] |
i want to lay in bed and listen to every love song that i have in my iTunes library.
the scene aesthetic, city and colour, secondhand serenade, mae, demi lovato, all of it.
i'm in that mood.
come cuddle.
there is something that i must confess to you tonight
to you tonight
and that is i expect nothing less from you tonight
from you tonight
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[Sunday
11/29/09@3:08am] |
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i really am wasting my time.
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[Sunday
11/29/09@1:57am] |
i can never just have a good day.
there's always a high and then a low.
and the low never ever comes first.
it's always the last thing before bed.
it's nights like these that i just want to die.
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[Tuesday
11/24/09@3:06pm] |
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ohhhhhhh, what to do what to do..
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[Monday
11/23/09@6:12pm] |
soo much going on in february.
tiiiime machiiiine, i want it.
boy vs. boy
hmmm..
what to do, what to do!
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[Friday
11/20/09@5:09pm] |
everything that you have yelled at me for is everything that you have become.
BAMMMM!!
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[Friday
11/20/09@1:32pm] |
uh, so i hope that loren and nick know that monica and i are totally bunking with them when loren comes home.
our rent payment will be cooking, cleaning, ya know.. womanly duties.
but one of the guys get the couch.
monica and i claim a bedroom.
breakfast will consist of hashbrowns, cheese, and ketchup every morning.
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[Thursday
11/19/09@1:25pm] |
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NEW MOON TONIGHT :D
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[Monday
11/16/09@1:11pm] |
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i hate having a manager trainee at the store. he's fucking taking alll of my goddamn hours and i can't even pay my bills. i'm so stressed out, this is ridiculous. when i get paid this week, it's all going towards bills. not going to have any money for gas, food, rent. just bills.
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[Sunday
11/15/09@8:11pm] |
me (8:06:48 PM): you are my breath of fresh air in this shit hole.
monica (8:09:24 PM): anytime babydoll.
monica (8:09:38 PM): you know I won't let you tolerate anything less than you deserve.
monica (8:09:43 PM): I wouldn't be a good friend if I did.
monica (8:09:53 PM): and for you I want to be the best.
amen, sister.
amen <3
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[Sunday
11/15/09@7:53pm] |
this whole situation is making me feel like shit.
all i ask for is honesty and respect.
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[Monday
11/9/09@5:52pm] |
life has been pretty good lately.
i mean, my job isn't that great and i'm not getting a lot of hours..
THANKS NORM.
but my friends are awesome.
my home life is awesome.
and i'm talking to a really cool guy :]
so as far as that goes, i'm content.
but i gotta go to plattsburgh on thursday to take care of my speeding ticket.
and queensbury was adjourned until next monday.
fuck speeding, srsly.
and veteran's day on wednesday.
my direct deposit is gonna be a day late.
FUCK.
so i gotta clear my stewart's account tomorrow, deposit it into my capcom account, and then pay my car insurance.
but other than that, i'm okay.
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[Friday
11/6/09@3:28am] |
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hey, it could happen.
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[Tuesday
11/3/09@12:58am] |
i wish my dad could get a grip on reality.
i'm going to chicago in february. i am not moving out there. i am not staying for an extended period of time. i am not throwing my life away by going on a road trip with one of my best friends.
i am being twenty and i am having a good time.
ACCEPT IT.
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[Monday
11/2/09@3:59am] |
mehhh i'm a zombie.
okay so.. friday, i went down to scotia and spent the night with face :D price chopper was close though. wtf. went to the gas station, i forgot which one. SUNOCO, thanks. saturdayyy i hung out with ashleigh <3 i miss her so much it's crazy. i remember we used to hang out almost everyday over the summer, and now i barely see her ever. sucks big bawlz. i worked for an hour. and then went to joe's. got wayyy trashed and took pictures on my phone. i don't remember half of them. it was so nice seeing everyone again <3. went to work today at 330. WORKED WITH MIKE AND PAUL. YESYESYES. best working combination ever. i jizzed a few times.
i've been procrastinating going downstairs because i want to stay with the puppy. but i reallyyyyy have to watch tool academy. like, have to. there's only like.. four of them left. three. stew, tyler, terry, uh.. i think that's it. charm went home last week. OH MY GOD I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE IT AHHHH!
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[Monday
11/2/09@2:10am] |
-fight fight fight-
me: i'm stubborn, what do you want from me!
him: just you.
/fight
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[Friday
10/30/09@2:34am] |
me: it's not fair that you're so far away. i can see this distance thing is going to be a problem.
him: it does allow us to not confuse this with the physical though
me: yeah, but it's nights like these where you just get so cute that i just want to lay my head on your chest and fall asleep.
him: one leg over mine and hand running through your hair?
me: just like that.
him: we can do that.
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[Friday
10/30/09@2:11am] |
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ehhhhh what the hell, i'll keep him.
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[Thursday
10/29/09@4:33am] |
hm, i feel like if i put what i want to say in here, it will get back to the wrong people.
*ahem*
i had a good night.
that is all.
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[Wednesday
10/28/09@11:29pm] |
okay, so the plan for my 21st birthday..
the night of the 23rd, we go downtown. midnight hits, i get drunkk on my birthday. sleep at the holiday inn.
wake up, head up to lake george, do whatever because it's tourist season and then partyyyy that night.
I LOVE MY LIFE.
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[Tuesday
10/27/09@3:04am] |
okay, so i'm on imesh just chillin', listening to music.
i get a chat request.
doot doot doot, it's from some italian guy.
...okay
him: hey
me: hi
him: how are you
me: good, and you?
him: good
him: did you look at my profile?
-i go look-
me: it's not bad
him: what would you do to my body?
me: okay, i'm not having this conversation with you.
him: why?
him: it's just a fantasy
me: because that's kinda creepy.
-block-
what the fuckkkk.
they even follow me on the internet!
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[Saturday
10/24/09@4:25am] |
i'm gonna try to drink the rest of my beer and then attempt to go to bed.
i gotta bring mtitens to the vet tomorrow. she's dying.
TIS CAN'T HAPPEN, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
g'night darling <3
ps; i miss burton :(
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| DRUNKKKK |
[Saturday
10/24/09@4:02am] |
okay so i'm drunk.
apparently the guy that i made out with tonight si married!!
"they were seperated but they're working on things. i brought him to her house in mechanicville at 1am last week so he could get his dick wet and see julianna. he's a great guy though if things down work out with ******"
whatttttttttttttt am i getting myself into???
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[Wednesday
10/21/09@11:33am] |
oh, and your girlfriend talks a lot of shit which is funny because you talk about her all the time.
if she's got a problem with me, or anyone else, you tell her to grow a pair and talk to us about it.
i don't want to find out over myspace where she thinks that she's safe.
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[Wednesday
10/21/09@10:03am] |
ohhman Feliciahh (9:40:46 AM): But anyway, if you're there, can you guess who called me a few nights ago drunk, freaking out, telling me he still loves me?
le sigh, ex-boyfriends.
i'm heading down to troy in a bit. hanging out with karl and whoever. got plans with erica and nick later. possibly mike too.
new kid at work. i don't know how i feel about it yet. he's way too comfortable around me because our dads work together.
i'm so tired. i haven't been sleeping much lately. i fell asleep in the basement and wound up in the upstairs living room. i don't remember that at all.
there's something wrong with me.
oh, and fuckkk youuuu :] you've lost all my trust in you, mhm.
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[Monday
10/19/09@2:48pm] |
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it's just getting worse.
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[Sunday
10/18/09@11:46am] |
i'm not happy.
i'm not okay.
somebody help me.
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[Thursday
10/15/09@12:52am] |
i love being in control.
i have you wrapped around my finger.
i'm going to use this to my advantage.
oh, and bbycakez? i lovelovelove you <3
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[Tuesday
10/13/09@7:36am] |
i feel like i don't matter.
i feel like my happiness is unimportant.
i feel like no matter what i do, i'll never ever be good enough for anyone.
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[Monday
10/12/09@1:30am] |
so every friday is officially "go to tony's" night.
i lovelovelove my friends.
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[Sunday
10/11/09@2:24pm] |
i feel like i'm on autopilot.
everything just passes me by.
when does the living start?
when does everything start to matter and make sense?
are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?
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[Tuesday
10/6/09@2:38am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nostalgic |
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i don't even know how to start explaining what i'm thinking right now.
have you ever had one of those songs that transport you back into time?
after not listening to this song for years, i finally put on "poles apart" by pink floyd which is my favorite floyd song.
i instantly felt fifeen again.
i'm sitting in brian's room. we had just come inside from playing with kane. it was a beautiful winter evening and it had just snowed. he laughed at me because i had never really seriously listened to pink floyd so he put on the division bell album. we turned off the lights and sat on his floor. i instantly felt at peace for the first two songs.
"oh, this is what i've been missing out on."
the third track came on and i couldn't breathe. i started crying. it was the most beautiful song i had ever heard. and the lyrics were amazing.
"oh, THIS is what i've been missing out on."
i couldn't believe it. it sounded like whales singing, and there was fair music, and everything just flowed. everything felt right. it was perfect.
i made brian play it again. after i left his house, i downloaded it when i got home.
that song brings back so many memories from that night.
dave brought us home wendy's. his dad threw a fit about something. i met andrew for the first time and he's absolutely adorable. we played outside in the snow. i watched brian play with kane for about an hour. we listened to the album. we watched a movie. we went through old cds.
no stress, no worries. just two kids hanging out and having a good time.
whatever happened to that?
where did time go?
why does everyone have to grow up so fast?
i just redownloaded it today. it gave me chills. i can't believe i stopped listening to it for so long.
i can't believe i stopped listening to pink floyd.
mmmm the division bell <3
i fell in love all over again.
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[Monday
10/5/09@3:24pm] |
me: when did we have sex?
burton: lol
me: was it any good atleast?
burton: uh, hell yeah!
me: how was my O face?
burton: which one?
love him.
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[Sunday
10/4/09@2:35am] |
i had a really really good time at tony's last night.
monica got drunk with me <3
i got trashed.
oh, and then was called a tease all night.
BAM!! i love being a girl.
i wonder what's up for next weekend mhmmm <3
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[Monday
9/28/09@12:29am] |
le siiiigh.
so i woke up friday morning and i thought i was dying. i couldn't breathe and thought i was going to vomit. went to the doctor, turns out it was strep. GOOD SICKNESS. so i didn't have to work friday because i was contagious.
i went over to face's. we cleaned her room. made it to amsterdam only to find out that i left my wallet at home. so went back to her house, got our shit together, and headed to my house. went to dinner at friday's. got music at best buy. SAW CHRIS RIGNEY <3. went to the football game, froze my ass off. partied at face's afterwards. her family is a riot, love 'em. went to bed early because i was drained.
woke up saturday to a phone call from my brother saying that him & mom got into a car accident. GREAT. leave face's, go to pick them up, find out halfway there that they don't need me to get them. come home, get ready. work 12-7. got home, changed, went to dinner with mike. our official first date. he paid for dinner and everything haha. he's cute sometimes. visited brittany and josh at dick's. drove down to exit ten. met up with MONICA<3 and caitlin. headed over to dave's. it was a slow night. saw the band perform. left around one. headed home, passed out.
worked 10am-midnight today. i'm exhausted.
i get to go watch tool academy and cuddle with my puppy <3
i'm excited for this week a little, yeah.
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[Thursday
9/24/09@12:37pm] |
it's been a while.
this week has been okay. i've had quite a few days off from work so i've been lounging.
monday consisted of brittany coming over, meeting up with face, going to the pound, lunch @ orientaste, shower, picked up dalton and mike, got ice cream, headed over to shannon's, brittany left, hung out with karl, then got called into work.
tuesdayyy wass... work 6-11 then PARTY AT KATE'S!! it was her 21st, so we had a blast. i was doing great in beer pong until i had to drink all the cups and got drunk. mmmm beer <3 i had a good time :)
wednesday.. woke up pretty hungover, went to a district meeting from 2-4, met up with danni, watched elliot yamin perform, headed back to vosburgh for THREE HOURS, got peter, went to denny's with peter, alyssa, and jonhamm. jon showed us this SWEET trick involving a salt shaker, toothpicks, and forks.
so far today, i've been to HVCC and back. i had lunch with face & karl.
tomorrow is face's birthday :D she's turning nineteen. she's coming over, we're doing whatever, i have a meeting at three, then hanging out with face again, football game, then party!!
saturday, i have to work 12-3. i might be hanging out with mike between 3-8. then there's a party at.. dave's? i think it's dave's. and i think nick's band is performing. i dunno, a band is performing and i hope it's his.
i'm not looking forward to sunday at all. i have to work 10-230 in mechanicville, then 3-11 at my store. fuuuuuuuuu- oh well, moneyz.
my butt muscle hurts. i feel like i got punched. i'll find them, i swear. i'll kick their shins, whoever hit me. I'LL FIND YOU.
i'm going to nap. i'm tired. g'night <3
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[Monday
9/21/09@11:22pm] |
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if i get this job, i could move out.
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[Saturday
9/19/09@2:41am] |
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i've had a couple days to think.
i'm getting my shit together.
monday, i'm calling the lawyer and getting my ACC shit squared away.
i'm applying at the bank so i'll have two jobs.
i'm gonna work the rest of the season.
then there's two paths..
go back to HVCC in the spring and get my associates.
OR
work through the spring, save up, and go away to a 4-year in the fall.
i can't decide. i'm thinking western new york, out near my aunt or something.
but i don't know about the winters.
maybe i'll go out of state.
maybe i'll go to ohio <3
i can dream, can't i?
i've been looking at colleges.
i need to get the fuck out of here.
i'm twenty years old, what the fuck.
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| i hate crying over you. |
[Wednesday
9/9/09@11:51pm] |
i want to fast forward into the future, just to see how you're doing. and there are about three things that i would love to hear you say to me. i just played it all out in my head. then i'd know that everything is okay.
don't give up on yourself.
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[Thursday
9/3/09@2:35pm] |
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i'm not okay.
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[Wednesday
9/2/09@2:27pm] |
jimmy, i challenge you to a game of beer pong.
suckkk a fucking dickkkk.
YA FREAK.
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[Tuesday
9/1/09@2:23pm] |
my head hurts. i'm being tugged in two different directions. the pit in my stomach won't go away. i've barely eaten. i feel like i constantly have to be doing something. i'm going to cry. and vomit. and sleep for days. i'm being dramatic. fuck estrogen. i'm always down. on the verge of tears. i'm accepting yet in denial. i know what i want but i don't know if it'll happen. fuck being young. i don't know what to do.
i don't fucking know what to do.
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[Monday
8/31/09@4:20pm] |
face: it won't be raining, so we don't have to take our clothes off in the car this time.
me: ...
face: well, i mean we can..
me: yeah, why wouldn't we get naked in your car?
can i just tell you, right now, that i love love love my best friend forever and ever?
i'm soo lucky <3
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[Saturday
8/8/09@3:46am] |
hey, jon.
i really care about you.
happy one-month-slash-one-year anniversary deal.
or whatever you wanna call it.
you're my first thought when i wake up and my last thought before i fall asleep.
i don't know how to put any of my thoughts into words.
just know that i'm so happy i have you.
although we've had our ups and downs, i think we can make it through pretty much anything.
nothing compares to the feeling i get when i'm around you.
i just.. mm, yeah.
:] <3
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[Friday
7/31/09@2:32pm] |
fuck today.
first, donna calls off so i have to go in an hour early. already shorthanded. oh, did i mention that ashley is still fucking lost somewhere in new hampshire? suddenly, it's MY responsibility to make sure that she makes it home alright.okay,fine, i can handle that. but only if she fucking tells me where she is. i can't type is "sign that says blah blah blah somewhere in the northeaster US" into mapquest. then mandy starts getting snippy with me making it seem like I'M the one not cooperating. ashley is sending mandy all these texts like "i'm lost, i'm scared, i'm hungry, i don't know where i am" so this is all my fault yeah mhm. because i told ashley to have a fucking mental breakdown and just drive all the way tofucking canada ad get lost in new hampshire. i'm a bad person, mhm.
so then when ashley finallyfigures out where she is, i'm off dropping sera off at a friend's house because they're having a party. turns out thatno one was home because the partyis TOMORROW. so there goes a half hour of my day where i could've been getting ready for work or helping ashleyget home.
oh, and did i mention that it's friday? and i'm closing? and it's delivery night?
there's only two of us closing. guess who my second person is.
OH WAIT, IT'S ASHLEY.
and to make matters worse, i'm PMSing.
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| birthday weekend. |
[Monday
7/27/09@7:27pm] |
friday was my birthday.
i went to great escape with face and then partied at monica's. saturday i went to the company picnic with danni and alyssa. i stayed home saturday night. sunday morning i worked until 1pm. i headed over to jon's and he threw me a surprise party :) him and his mom made me a cake, three layers! park, swimming, pool.
jon is over now. he's downstairs playing mariokart with booboo.
oh. and he got me a computer. it's in my room now :D
ahhhhhhhhh what a weekend <3
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[Monday
7/20/09@2:21am] |
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i just bought this.
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[Friday
7/17/09@1:18pm] |
alfredo & mushrooms, cheddar & sour cream chips, cookies, pepsi.
a gossip magazine.
comfy pajamas.
recipe for a good time.
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[Wednesday
7/15/09@12:28am] |
"alright, i've gotta admit that he's changed. he's not that big of a dick anymore."
my sister [about jon]
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[Thursday
7/2/09@3:40pm] |
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you wouldn't know a good thing if it bit you on the nose.
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